Mommy Bulldozer :P

I do not know what God has in mind for me in the future but I am thankfull for the strength He has given me to carry all these on my shoulders and the wisdom to keep myself sane & functional all these while ...

I feel like a bulldozer - hence the title .. not just the size of it but all the other aspects of the machinery / vehicle .. I keep on bulldozing the obstacles / pain / misery because I simply do not have the luxury of time to ponder upon it & sob miserably .. I do cry, but hey a few seconds in the shower would do me good - rather than being a time bomb & explode suddenly, right?

So, the question is - what / why / how / where / when / who / which ... too many!!!
Where do I start, oh maybe the fact that I am 5 month & 3/4 pregnant which explains the comparison to the size of the bulldozer .. and I have NOT seen my gynae / doctor who is going to deliver the baby in HUKM yet? .. why? because of moolah / RM / bling bling ..

Next, my office - the people there simply despise me? Too strong a word - well, how would you feel if you are heavily pregnant & you have a baby of 1 yr + - among your English Dept colleague - you are the ONLY one who has 18 contact hours in a week with 340 students, with 2 different subjects that you have to share with other lecturers with one subject that has a FINAL EXAM, you have 3 days in which your class finishes at 7.20 PM then you have to rush fetching your baby from the nursery in a jammed packed AKLEH highway - just to reach home maybe at 9.30 - 10.00 PM THEN the next morning your class starts at 8.30 AM ... ??? That is just the tip of the iceberg ... there is simply lots & lots more ...

Other issues, too soon to talk about maternity leaves but hey, some people simply cannot resist the temptation to bring it up whenever they see my bloating tummy .. Not only I might be marking FINAL EXAM papers for 180 students of mine but I also need to key in their marks into the E-CITIE DURING my maternity leaves ... Yeay .. simply because my ever so wise English Dept colleagues just ignore the fact that I have told them so earlier .. And my MIL simply keep on repeating the super imposing suggestion that I should stay with her at Kota Damansara .. which means all the 4 of us, me, my new born baby, Athena & my hubby should relocate ourselves to her house .. instead of her, one person, solo relocate herself to my house in BTS .. stupendous, isn't it?

Sure wish I have MORE time to bable on but sorry folks, time's up .. see you when I see you.

Adios .. live life :)

When things go wrong ?

What do we do when things are not right? Sometimes we have this little voice in our head or some call it gut feelings that screams warning ... yet, we cannot actually put our finger on it ... Hmm some of the people I know, recently got caught up in these ugly situations ... I honestly feel for them - as I had been on that road before.

There is no handbook on surviving this, yet we can always turn to Allah the Almighty for strength and guidance. Families, friends and pets help too but the most important thing is you, yourself. Sad but true - I am sorry to say that if you are not strong, no one can help you to go through this. You need to do it for yourself, not for the kids or parents or siblings who depend on you. Because if you do it for others, you may hold them responsible if anything else went wrong - in time normally that happens.

Wish I have a magic wand that could impart what I had been through so that others can have some kind of 'shield' to survive it ... but hey, I am just a mortal who is also learning as I make mistakes again & again.

My prayers goes to all those out there who is going through one hell of a journey. May God bless you.

Disturbia ...

It has been awhile since the last entry ... Got caught up with life in general - my Dad's admittance to IJN - the check-ups, the emotional roller-coaster everytime he is admitted, not to mention the job that demands me to be more than just a lecturer - I am like the ALL-in-one solvent LOL I am supposed to be a SUPERWOMAN ... That explains why I had Alicia Keys Superwoman on full blast on my MP3 every morning on my way to work ... It is like a mantra to last me the whole day I guess...

Anyways, I have been trying to practice the three 'ALIF's ever since Ramadhan...The first one is 'ikhlas' - one should perform good deeds all the time regardless when no one is looking / judging. As it is done for Allah's blessing. The second one is 'ihsan' - one should do good deeds to those who mistreated / did bad things to you in the past. One should not seek for revenge - instead treat the evil-doers with respect and show compassion. The third one is 'ihram' - there are practices / actions allowed but one should try to withold from doing it in order to be a better person. Through Ramadhan - it was easy to follow since everyone around you is fasting ( they are at their best behaviour ) but try practicing it now - in Raya month... I am telling you, it is NOT easy at all. I supposed once Ramadhan is over, they simply went back to their own evil selves. The 'kiasu', selfish and mean Malaysians.

This morning, there were a few incidents in the LRT that make me feel like practicing some of the moves in the old arcade game Street Fighters ( back breaker, jack-knife ) to some of those evil, selfish and mean people. There was this lady who wears the headscarf ( mind you - this is one the signs that 'should' show that she is a devout Muslim ) who literally pushed & shoved her way into the train. I was standing there first when she shoved her way, but the moment she was in, she was like pissed I am there at that spot. She kept on nudging me and I can almost see the bubble on top of her head blaming me for standing there in 'her' spot. I felt like telling her that I searched & I could not find her name 'stamped' there on the spot. I endured the hostility till we reached the station of Titiwangsa. I went down at the station to board Monorail with a sigh of relief. But little did I know, there would be another episode of 'hell' on earth that morning. As I went to the escalator, there right in front of me was another lady who 'majestically' stand and refused to let others pass her on the right side of the escalator. I tried to overtake her as there was no one in front of her on the escalator, but she simply ignored me. I was caught / trapped by this selfish woman and those at my back was giving me a hard time as well. Well, be my guest, kick the bloody hag in front of me - I tried 'Excuse me' and it did not work .

I am not saying that I am perfect, but I do try NOT to make other people's life miserable because of me. Argh ... feel like putting on an all white contact lenses, dressed in a vampirish costume & scare the hell out of those irritating people out there. It must be the Halloween mood eh ...

Feel much better now ... Will try to be the old sweet me again once I am out of this 'DISTURBIA' state...hehehe

See ya.

Know your true friends

It is sad sometimes to see how someone can be so blind in judging / evaluating situations / friends / ppl. Life in general ...True friends are those who stand by you especially during your difficult moments - not just once, but most of the times and only want the best for you. Best means doing the right thing in life - so you will not regret it later in life.

True friends ensure that you will not be alone during festivities or holidays such as Eid ( Hari Raya Aidil Fitri ). True friends ensure that you have meals to eat when you are broke. True friends give you advise on the right thing that you should do. True friends disagree with you when you make bad decision to destroy your future. True friends do not ask for you to remember her during your happiest moments but when you come crying during your sad moments, true friends embrace you without any hesitation. True friends never question why you sometimes disappear for weeks without news when you are with loads money to spend and only to see your face again when you are broke or in trouble OR BOTH. True friends cry for you when you are sad unlike your 'fun-party-joy' crowd who worship you when you are rich but ignore you when you are broke / in trouble.

Yes, true friends can be annoying when they do not agree with you ALL the times but fake friends are never real in the first place. Fake friends do not care about you - if you destroy your life - that is YOUR life, nothing to do with them. But real friends care for you that they are willing to be hated in order to 'save' you from throwing your life away. Yes, true friends are willing to take that risk to ensure the best for you.

Think about it before it is TOO late.

Mad hamster?

We have heard about mad cow disease, rabies or hydrophobia - a disease of the nervous system of dogs and other animals, which can also cause a type of madness and death in humans who are bitten by a diseased animal ... But have you ever heard of a mad hamster disease?

The reason for me asking is that I have one very MAD hamster in my keeping...Her name is Emil... At first I thought it was a male but I was proven wrong ...Anyway, she simply hates anything that moves - be it your finger, or the wind moving some of the stuffs in her cage even when you pass through her cage on the way to the bathroom... She would squeal and shriek showing her teeth to the 'intruders'... This obviously lead to a practical joke being executed by my husband and me - just to entertain ourselves sometimes. We would be standing by her cage and blow some air directly to her, making her stand and starts to shriek with all her might.

This morning I was feeding them with sunflower seeds - I had a handful of the seeds in my palm when I lowered it into her food tub / pan. Next thing I know, I had a hamster clinging on my middle finger simply by the teeth. She was hanging in the air for a good 2 minutes before she finally let go - shrieking & squealing at the same time. I had to endure her weight & the pain by keeping still. Whenever I wriggle my fingers, she would bit harder in order to cling unto me. It was a funny scene but I was too shocked to see the funny side of it...

So back to my question - is it possible that I am now infected with a mad hamster disease? LOL I hope not.

Dealing with psychopath

I am sure everyone had their share in this ... At one point in life, at least , one would inevitably deal with one ... Well, sometimes we can choose to ignore the *toot* but sadly, there are times that we cannot run from them...

Basically, like any other red-hot blooded woman out there, I really wanted to strangle the *toot* and drain life slowly from the limp body but hey, let's face it - then I would be the one locked up in the jail or in the asylum...Either one, I won't be happy there ...

So what can a helpless yet determined woman like me do in cases like this ... Yupp, you guess it right - write a blog. Well at least I don't have to go to jail for that, hopefully.

Cheerio people ... may life be a better one for all of you out there.

Hugs

2nd task of photography

February had been a very busy month for me ... My students were preparing for their pantomime performances which was originally due on 28 & 29th February ... But, as usual things were postponed due to some issues raised by some Dr ... Anyway, the performance would be carried out on 15th March instead ... Hopefully, this time around the Dr won't be making any more issues to stop the event ...

At the moment, my students are having their semester break of 1 week. This give me the much needed rest and focus to complete my assignment ... And as a bonus, I am also able to update the blog :)

On the 1st of March, a friend of ours ( me & hubby ) had his engagement ceremony in Senawang. He had asked us to be the photographers of the day. Here are some of the photoes taken on the day itself. As that was my first attempt in using SB 600 for flash, there were some difficulties at first. But as I go along, I learnt a thing or two on the usage.

For Masri & Iza, congratulations :)